ahhh frustrations. I've been going through some shit recently. I hate when you go years thinking you feel a certain way about something and then BAM, emotions come tumbling forward and you find yourself knocked on your ass. My family life has been pretty up and down. Im not talking about real crazy problems like some people face. Im talking about personality conflicts. morality. Generalized anger amoungst each other. resentment. all the nasty shit that gets you nowhere in life.

I was pretty sure that even though i didn't like some things that have happened, I wasn't one of those people that held on to the past and cried about every little crappy thing thats been done. Turns out I was wrong. Some things have happened recently and it brought some emotions up I never knew I had. I feel like i have been in some sort of drug induced coma and i finally see the light. how shitty is that? All of a sudden I'm crying all the time. WTF.

There is nothing I can do about the past. I can be upset about how Ive been treated or where i've been wronged but I cant let it affect me. I gave myself a couple of days and now I refuse to let it bring me down. I have my own family now. I need to concentrate my son and making sure I'm the best mother I can be. I just wish that instead of preaching things my parents would have actually shown by example. You grow up and get older, your kids wont only see you through the light you've portrayed. We gain are own moral compass. It comes down to the fact that we are all people and it's about respect.